Investigating the Hydrants

Lieutenant Inspector Colombo: (pacing around the hydrant, scratching his head) "Well, well, well... looks like we got ourselves a real pickle here. Now, who could've sprung you loose, Mr. Hydrant?"

Fire Hydrant: (silently gushing water)

Colombo: "You don't say much, do ya? But you know, that's alright. I've dealt with tougher nuts to crack. Now let's see... (bends down, examining the base) Ah, what's this? A footprint, and it's still wet! Looks ripe to me, like a fresh-baked clue right outta the oven."

Fire Hydrant: (continues gushing)

Colombo: "And look here! A piece of red fabric snagged on your bolt. Now that's another ripe one. Might just lead us straight to our culprit. Whoever did this must've been in a real hurry. You got any ideas, Mr. Hydrant?"

Fire Hydrant: (still gushing)

Colombo: "Silent type, huh? I get it. But I gotta tell ya, this case is starting to come together. Wet footprints, red fabric... they all point to someone in a rush. Someone who didn't care about the mess they left behind. And you know what they say about messy folks – they always leave ripe clues."

Fire Hydrant: (gushes in agreement)

Colombo: "Exactly! Now if you'll excuse me, I gotta follow these ripe clues. But don't worry, Mr. Hydrant, I'll be back. We'll get to the bottom of this, one ripe clue at a time."

Fire Hydrant: (gushes one last time)

Colombo: "Thanks for your cooperation. I'll be seeing ya soon."

Colombo tips his hat and walks off, leaving the hydrant to continue gushing in silent agreement.